With or without you.

India ink on paper 11" x 14" 2009

I hadn’t realized how fast time was flying by. I will have been on my insulin pump and CGM dexcom for about a year and a half now. I have loved and hated every second with these devices. At first the pump was amazing. I thought often about how I had been doing this diabetes thing all wrong. I was doing myself a disservice by not investigating these things sooner. The CGM helped me sleep through the nights with ease, unless I was high/low then it was a bit annoying, but I felt confident in myself and in my diabetes management. Having these tools made me feel almost invincible. I could be discreet and still manage to care for myself properly. My numbers were great and all through out my pregnancy I knew that I was doing everything in my power to keep not only myself happy and healthy but also my little man, too.

Until suddenly these once amazing gadgets started feeling like a burden. Until suddenly I felt annoyed with having these pods and sensors constantly stuck to my body. I was loathing site changes and overall I noticed myself ignoring the beeps and warnings which meant I was also ignoring my diabetes. So I took a step back, which has actually ended up being a step forward..funny how that works, and I am back on MDI (manual daily injections) and guess what it didn’t blow up the space time continuum. I am still standing and still going strong.

In an amazing reality check I realized that I can still manage my diabetes with or with out the fancy stuff. My numbers have been surprisingly exceptional and I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to the pump. Who knows though. I’ve learned that if you aren’t willing to try new ways to take care of this disease it will consume you, this mundane beast will make you lock it in a closet until you just don’t care anymore. I don’t want that to happen because it’ll mean I don’t care about myself. So, for now, I am doing MDI and using my CGM to help me through the days and nights.

If we’re being honest with one another I am happy with this decision. Hopefully I continue to feel this way for awhile.

Someone asked me if I recommended an insulin pump and I said that in the beginning I would have but now I say, really evaluate the decision. Consider every option and understand exactly what you are getting into. I feel like insulin pumps are amazing, wonderful tools, when used correctly. The only device I will continuously stand behind is the CGM, that is truly a life saver, insulin I can get either way I choose, but the piece of mind that comes with wearing the dexcom is undeniable.

Are you an insulin pumper? Do you CGM?

Ever just need a break? or are you someone considering a pump? I hope I haven’t given you the wrong message, if you decide the pump is for you, trust me, you’ll go far. My only advice in writing this is to make sure you figure out if it really suits you and I hope you’ll consider all your options. At the end of the day it is your health that matters the most.

Now, don’t forget to smile. It’s a beautiful day.


9 thoughts on “With or without you.

  1. Cool! Never tried a pump. I did dexcom for a while. Many pros, some cons… I think as long as youre paying attention to all the variables – prebolusing, counting, activity adjustments, etc you can be equally successful with either way! Glad things are working for you :)

    • Yeah. We are def on the same page. I agree that as long as the person is really in tune with themselves and their health that you can accomplish so much. I’m happy things are working out, too. Hope you’re doing well. :)

  2. I am so all over this as someone who felt the same way you did. Sadly I spent 5 years on the pump before seeing through it. I want a cgm right now but I’ll never pump again.
    I see more and more people finding solace in MDI lately and seeing the pump as something that just complicates and brings focus to the disease itself.

    • I am so happy that I am not alone in my pump thoughts. I still think it is a wonderful device, just not for me, at least not at this particular moment in my life. I definitely recommend a CGM. It has been even more useful, I think, to my management. I figure, pump or MDI, just get the right tools for you to tackle this disease. :) Thank you for commenting.

  3. I do pump and I don’t see myself giving it up anytime soon. I value the flexibility and precise control it gives me.

    With that said, I do find myself envious at times of people like you and Scully who have been able to return to a simpler means, free of the flashy, high-tech, and competitive (and expensive!) pump market. When the question asked is “which pump is right for me?” rather than “is a pump right for me?”, we know we’ve succumbed to pressures (marketing, medical, peer) that may not be the correct ones.

    • Exactly. I thought for sure the pump was right for me. Sometimes it has been. Because like you I liked the precise control it gave me. Until I felt like it didn’t anymore. I may end up going back but for now MDI has been working better for me. It does help that it is a bit easier on the pocket book, though that doesn’t play a huge role.

  4. My doctor recommended that I go on the pump. After really looking at the pros & cons I decided to stay with MDI. I want to control when my insulin is given and I want to make sure I get that insulin. As for the CGM, I have had one for over a year now and I am toying with the idea of stopping it. I found myself ignoring the beeps and I don’t even hear it at night anymore. For the cost I am looking at stopping it.

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