As most of my readers know I am already a mommy.
My daughter is now six going on 16 and is the light of my life. When I was pregnant with her I had already been diagnosed with type one diabetes. In fact, I was newly diagnosed. I was still learning the ins and outs of this disease. (The learning never really stops with diabetes but I do know a whole heck of a lot more now than I did then) Not only was I nervous about being a new mommy but I wondered how diabetes was going to affect my baby in the womb? I truthfully had no idea.
We barely had insurance at the time but somehow managed to stay afloat with medical/prescription bills, and baby stuff. During those nine months of growing my little girl I can not express how stressed out I was. Learning to take control of your disease while pregnant is not ideal but I managed. Eventually.
My diabetes was out of control. Insulin was something I thought I knew how to take. I had been on a sliding scale which seemed hit or miss a lot of the time. I was checking my blood sugar about 20 times a day and writing everything down. Prenatal appointments were every other day it felt like. My husband and I would wake up at the crack of dawn to drive downtown so they could scold me on my numbers, change my sliding scale, check on baby, and then send me on my way.
I saw so many doctors my head was spinning.
Despite the chaos of that pregnancy I was thankful because I knew exactly what was going on all the time.
The end of that story is a happy one. My daughter is perfectly healthy with no sign of diabetes, at birth she weighed 8lbs 9ozs. A slightly bigger baby than most people were having I suppose but my blood sugar levels got incredibly tight towards the end of that pregnancy. My doctors watched me like a hawk. Through out the whole thing I really learned a lot about diabetes. It was incredibly eye opening.
This time around I think I have seen my OBGYN/Diabetes Specialist only a handful of times. I email my blood sugar logs in every week and nothing changes. She praises me in fact for having impeccable numbers. The lows don’t even have her that concerned. My OBGYN says baby is perfectly healthy and everything is going accordingly. I have slight indigestion, some swelling, lots of cravings, I take my prenatal pill, a vitamin D supplement, I watch what foods I consume, I am on my Dexcom constantly, my pump never leaves my side, and I am trying to walk a ton. Aside from the diabetes factors is this what a normal pregnancy is like? My only worries at the moment are what to put on my registry, will he like his name when he grows up, and how will I survive these Summer months pregnant? Other than that everything has been great.
I should be thrilled, right?
Instead I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I guess that’s what good control does for a pregnant diabetic but it just seems weird not to be constantly monitored, not to have someone lording over me about my disease, or what I’m eating. It’s just the strangest thing.
My husband reminds me to just be thankful that everything is going well and enjoy the pregnancy.
I guess that’s all I really can do.
Baby is moving a ton, especially when I sneeze, he hates to be disturbed. My daughter is counting down the days until she gets to meet her little brother (123 more days) and that is such a sweet thing. You couldn’t remove this smile from my face. I am feeling incredibly blessed. I hope you’re smiling, too. If you look hard enough you’ll find a reason.
(Side note: This was written some time ago. I had forgotten to edit and post it. Oops. We call that “pregnancy brain” haha.)