There was a lovely post done by Allison over at Withfaithandgrace where she did a virtual coffee date.
What a neat and super sweet idea.
I thought I’d do one of my own.
Thanks for the idea, Allison. :)
If we were on a coffee date I’d share with you..
…That life has had my head spinning. Between working and keeping up with everyone’s busy schedules and appointments I haven’t had nearly enough time to take a breath. I am scatter brained beyond belief. My days off are all mushed together. I’m not even sure when or how I manage to get things done. Of course, I am thankful to have every little stressful moment though because they remind me of the wonderful stress free moments that do come around.
…We’d talk about how I hadn’t been feeling well for a while but I just blamed the diabetes monster that lurks around corners. I figured maybe it was a stomach bug that was going around but then I discovered I wasn’t sick at all.
I’m pregnant…I’ll pause here to let that soak in..
…This is where I would share my overwhelming excitement and fear for this pregnancy. My little girl is six so pregnancy was a very long time ago. I remember being nervous about everything. I was also very strict with my diabetes regimen back then. The doctors warned that there would be risks and complications so I mentally prepared myself for the worst. Surprisingly everything went well. No complications, no issues, nothing. She came out perfect and wonderful. My husband and I agreed that maybe we shouldn’t try for more babies, why mess with fate, because anything could have happened. Someone had other plans for this little family though because three pregnancy tests and a doctor can’t be wrong about this.
…I’d mention that I just recently heard my little beans heartbeat and how incredibly magical that was. I teared up.
…then I’d continue to rant and rant about how there is so much riding on perfect health right now. Perfect numbers, perfect insulin dosages, perfect everything, that I am left feeling sick to my stomach. (On top of the “morning” sickness that is) I feel like there isn’t room to be too excited because I have a mission and a goal. To ensure a happy, healthy baby is born without complications. Diabetes really is a monster and though I have lived with it for this long slightly unscathed now there is another human being that is coming along for the ride and until he/she is ready to come into this world my wrecked body is his/her home. I need everything to work the way it’s supposed to… That sort of stuff weighs heavy on a person.
…I’m hoping that this is where you would soothe my fears with some kind of advice or loving words of encouragement..
Aside from all that though I just keep thinking about how incredibly blessed we are to be expecting another little one. My daughter is thrilled to be a big sister soon and my husband and I have already been playing the name game. I just hope that everything goes just as well as the first time did if not better.
Be prepared, friends, for diabetic pregnancy rants. :)