Another year..

Yesterday I turned one year older.

One year wiser. One year braver, funnier, and healthier.

If you’re wondering how old I am, well, a woman never tells. Let’s just say I turned twenty five again..plus two more years. :) When I was younger I would imagine where my life would be at twenty something. Would all my hopes and dreams have come true?Would I be married, have children, and have a house with a dog…

Then I learned that sometimes life doesn’t always happen the way you’ve planned so you have to figure out how to roll with the punches. I didn’t plan on having diabetes, or moving across the states, I didn’t think I’d marry young and have a child right away..but you know what..I am so happy with how everything has worked out. I am twenty..mumble..mumble..and I have a college degree, a job, a wonderful and loving husband, a beautiful healthy little mini me, my health..well, I have blessings upon blessings. I am right where I want to be. I’m right where I dreamed I would be..

Life has been quite the ride but I am thankful for every bump and bruise. Every mistake and lesson learned. Every little moment in between that has brought me to this point in my life. The ride isn’t over yet though. There are still so many more doors that need to be opened and dreams that will come true.

Yesterday I woke up another year older, but more importantly, another year better than before.

Someone forgot what 25 looks like. ;)

Someone forgot what a 2 and a 5 look like. ;)

So this is 27..

So this is 27..

No, THIS is what 27 and 6 look like..

No, THIS is what 27 and 6 look like..

 

Another milestone worth noting..

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This blog is now a year old. I am so proud of the progress. The support and encouragement has been outstanding. I hope to be part of the blogging world for many more years. Thank you for the comments, the follows, the shares, the everything. It means more to me than any of you will ever know. Thank you for sharing in all the ups and downs.

Remember to smile. There’s always a reason to.

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3.17.10

Four years ago I had to say goodbye to a very important woman in my life.

My Mother.

This is an older picture, my favorite one of her.

This is the way I want to always remember her.

My Mother.

Dear Mom,

You’ve been gone awhile but I think of you all the time. Your smile, the way your laugh shook a room, your warm and comforting embrace. I miss you. The way you would hold me when I was upset. The smell of your perfume on Sunday mornings. The way you always knew just what to say when I needed encouragement…

We bumped heads quite a bit when I got older. That’s to be expected when a child decides to forge their own path, but I knew that when I needed advice on anything you were just a phone call away.

This is so tough. Having so much to say and knowing that you’ll never read this..

Addisen is growing up so fast and I wish you were here to see it. She loves to sing and dance. She plays sports now. She reads and writes and makes up the most amazing stories. She doesn’t really remember you, which makes me so sad, but I tell her about you all the time. About how you made the most spectacular Mexican food. About how the same tune I hum to her when she wants to cuddle is the same one you hummed to me when I was little. I show her pictures of you and she says you’re beautiful.

She does such awesome, funny, things and I wish I could tell you…

Mom, I wish you could have stayed longer. I wish I could hear your voice again.

I wish a lot of things had been different.

Time passes on whether we want it to or not but I’ll never forget you and the impact you had on my life.

I love you.

Love always,

Elizabeth

Oh, HIGH there.

I’m writing this late.

The events I’m going to write about happened a few nights ago, Friday the 7th, but the feeling of helplessness still lingers.

Early Friday morning I had changed my pod like I was supposed to. Everything went seemingly well. Some of the adhesive tape that holds the pod to your skin had come up. The whole front side where the needle goes into my skin had been lifting slightly. I’d taped it up as best I could and then headed out to our local Walgreen’s to find something, anything, that would make the pod last. I came across NexCare Tegaderm bandages, which work amazing by the way, and placed it around the pod hoping that would save me from having to replace it after only a few hours.

Later that day I had work.

Around noontime, after movie popcorn and lunch, which I had bolused for, I was slowly trending up on the dexcom. I figured my body needed time to catch up with all the excitement. I did a bolus right before work and then headed in around 4 p.m. All of a sudden I start to feel the dreaded symptoms of elevated blood sugar. Dry mouth, a bit dizzy, nauseous, and everything else that tags along. I check my dex and I am still trending up. I take more insulin.

Two hours later when I finally get a chance to check my dexcom/meter all it says is HIGH. I freak out and not internally. My supervisor already knew that something was wrong so when I questioned when I would be able to take a break she just let me go. I phoned my husband to let him know what was going on. I had been trending up and then reading HIGH for a combined six hours. The only thing I could think of was the pod. I wasn’t getting any insulin whatsoever despite my bolusing. My husband rushed up to my work, thankfully we live fairly close, to bring me a new pod and more insulin. I had a syringe and a quarter of a vial on me so I took 15 units while I waited.

The few minutes it took for him to get up to my work felt like hours..

When he arrives I frantically jump in the car. Having only a few minutes left of my break I rip my pod off, fill up a new one, wait for it to prime, and then stick that sucker on me. I start my basal and take a deep breath. Everything was going to be fine. When examining the old pod the needle appeared to be bent. Who knows where that insulin was going…

By the end of the night I was starting to see actual numbers on my meters. I got home around 10ish and was sitting around the 200’s. I don’t even remember getting myself to bed. In the morning I was at a 94. My blood sugar actually stayed in the low hundreds while I slept. Needless to say I felt like such a zombie the next couple of days. The crazy part is that it’s not the pod change that worried me or the not getting insulin part..it was how others were going to see me after such an ordeal that really bothered me. It made my heart ache, actually.

The technical issues were figured out and then resolved but the way I felt when I had to explain my frequent restroom breaks, or finger checks, or dexcom glances..that feeling of helplessness, vulnerability, the feeling of not being normal..it weighed heavy on me. I can only speak for myself but I strive for normalcy in a world of diabetes chaos. I try not to let health issues, if at all possible, interfere with my life. With work. With anything. Not saying that I put things on the back burner, no, I did what I needed to do in that situation and took care of myself. That doesn’t change the fact that I felt like I was being looked at differently. In that moment I was being treated like a child. Not intentionally but it happened. The rest of the evening I was handled with kid gloves and it frustrated me. The next work day was back to normal. Nothing had actually changed but I feel like it will always be in the back of their minds when they look at me.

My ego was a bit bruised. My pride, maybe. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I will be better prepared next time. But hopefully nothing like this happens again..

Have you ever dealt with anything like this? How did you come out of it?