This was me a few nights ago.
Not the best, I’d say. In fact since my last pod change my numbers have been horrendous. Not sure if the site I picked out on my arm just has lousy absorption or what but I have been very frustrated. At first with myself. When something goes “wrong” with my diabetes I am quick to blame, well, me. I am quick to say that it must have been something I did. Or didn’t do. It’s terrible and I am trying to break myself of this because guess what? It isn’t always me. Sometimes, it’s the insulin. Sometimes it’s a crappy site. Sometimes these tools that we so heavily rely on forget what their jobs are and take on a life of their own.
Sometimes it’s just one of those days.
For this particular day I corrected, and corrected, and then corrected again. I took deep breaths and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t me. I decided to shrug it off and push forward. Days like this happen, they will always happen, just hopefully not too close together. I will have marvelous days filled with moments of triumph and I will have days where I wish I could actually punch this disease square in it’s face.
I wish I could break up with diabetes. That clingy boyfriend that can’t do anything on his own. That annoying little creep that stalks your Facebook page. I mean, I can associate diabetes with so many things that are terrible. At the end of the day, however, it is still something that I have to live with. SO, when days like this occur, and I have done all that I can, I just say..it happens.
Then, I move on.
Today has been slightly better but not by much. Tomorrow is a new day I will not predict. Instead I will just hope it goes smoothly. I think I deserve some smooth days every once in awhile.
If I continue to fight, and push, and live..if I continue doing everything I need to do..then I am beating diabetes. I am showing diabetes who is boss. Because I will not be defeated. I will not be broken.
Own it or be owned.