Thankful Thursday.

It’s that time of year again.

Family gatherings, great big feasts, full bellies, and of course football.

I love the holidays. It’s truly a special time of year. I remember growing up and my mom putting everything into the holidays. Decorations, music, the house smelling of turkey and homemade sides. Nothing came from a box. The sound of the parade in the background of conversations. It was the best.

Now that I am an adult with a family of my own I try to share all of my traditions with my daughter. We get up early and watch the parade. Laughing and singing along to all the songs. We cuddle up sipping hot cocoa and wait for my husband to get home from work. (Because the restaurant business stops for no one) This year will be a little different because I’ll be working too but that won’t stop me from making sure the holidays are a special time of year for my little one too.

I thought I would share a few things I am thankful for this year..though I try to have a thankful heart every single day.

1. First and foremost I am thankful for my little family. They have supported and loved me through so much. I love getting to make so many amazing memories with my husband and our darling little girl.

2. I am thankful that my brother is living out here now. Whether we fight sometimes, like siblings do, it is always nice to have a piece of home out here with me. A piece of my mom really.

3. I am thankful for all of my awesome friends in the DOC. Some of you I’ve met via twitter and others I know through my Facebook page. Each and every one of you has touched my life and shown me the power of friendship even if we’ve never met.

4. I am thankful for my health. Yes, I have diabetes but diabetes doesn’t have me. Thanks to technology and amazing insurance I can take care of myself so I can be around for many, many more thanksgivings.

5. I am so thankful for my new job. It’s been wonderful. A true blessing.

6. Last but not least, I am thankful for the rest of my family, out here and back in California. From actual hugs to virtual ones you’ve all shown me what unconditional love is. That I can be my silly self and not worry about anything.

I am so grateful for every person I’ve met. Every opportunity I’ve had. Every smile that someone has shared with me. This is the only life we get and I plan to make it so amazing. So spectacular. I wish the same for all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.


Someday I will..

Make a wish! :)

It’s always nice to be present in the here and now moments of life. Once in awhile though I think it’s alright to plan goals, daydream, wish, and send out hopes for the future. So I thought I would put together my own little “Someday I will..” list. These are goals I hope to have accomplished..someday. Call it a bucket list if you will. Enjoy.

1. Someday I will have my bachelors, and even masters, degree. I can’t wait to start school again.

2. Someday I will have my own little house. Preferably one with a yard.

3. Someday I will have an adorable little puppy.

4. Someday I will be at my goal weight. With a lot of exercise and healthy choices.

5. Someday I will be doing what I love and actually making a career out of it. Writing.

6. Someday I will be happy with myself instead of being overly critical.

7. Someday I will be able to say I had diabetes.

8. Someday I will be able to forgive all the things you’ve done/broken promises so that we can move forward.

9. Someday I will be a grandmother and spoil those babies rotten. :)

10. Someday I will take a road trip.

Some of these things might seem shallow, they may seem completely out of reach, but they are all things that I truly hope I can mark off the list. In some way.

Don’t forget to smile, there’s always a reason to.

You’re my type.

Sometimes I am hesitant to share my blood sugar numbers or my A1c’s with other people with diabetes (PWD) because I don’t want to feel inadequate and I wouldn’t want others to feel that way. Let’s face it..we all compare ourselves to one another. It happens.

But diabetes..shouldn’t be a competition.

The DOC is a community. If your numbers aren’t where you want them to be then keep working at it and I will be right behind you cheering you on.

It’s the same thing with all the type one this and type two that. Listen, diabetes sucks. For me, for you, for everyone in between. No one wishes this disease on themselves no matter what type it is. Not one of them is “worse” than the other. They are both tedious and aggravating.

Whatever “type” you are..I support you. I’m cheering you on. I am sending you wonderful blood sugar vibes and that’s that. If so many people in the world are staring at us like we are sickly, lazy pancreas carrying, fools, why are we judging one another?

Everyone else is doing that enough.

Let’s stick together. Let’s join hands, and not entirely in a sing-song around the campfire kind of way, but in a community kind of way. I am saddened when I hear judgement and rude comments tossed at type ones or type twos by one another. That’s not how it should be.

That’s not what I signed up for anyway.

I have spoken to a few people who are feeling alienated by others because of their “type” and it’s ridiculous.

I’m going to step off of my soap box though and leave you with this. Just because I get a good A1c or a bad one doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting. And just because you have type one, two, three, four, or five diabetes doesn’t mean you should either. Keep fighting. Keep doing you and let everything else go. Life is too short.

Smile, there’s always a reason to.



Holiday do’s and don’ts.

With Thanksgiving fast approaching I thought it would be fun to put together my own little do’s and don’ts list for dealing with my diabetes. Consider this a how-to guide for all you non-d people out there who love someone with diabetes. :)

Do – Invite me out to your holiday parties and festivities. Diabetes doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun.

Don’t – Announce to everyone in the room that I am your friend/relative with the lazy pancreas. It’s not something I am personally excited about sharing while asking for the mashed potatoes to be passed my way.

Do – Let me know what you’ll be providing food/drink/dessert wise so I can game plan.

Don’t – Give me looks, or ask if I should be eating this or that, I know what I’m doing here. Promise.

Do –  Provide “diabetic friendly” dishes if that will make you feel more comfortable with inviting me over. I always appreciate the care and concern that people take to ensure that I feel welcome.

Don’t – Assume that I am a “bad” diabetic because I indulged in a little apple pie/cookie/sweet treat. Diabetics CAN eat sugar. In moderation. Diabetes doesn’t mean I’ve completely lost my sweet tooth.

Do – Provide diet coke, and lots of it. :)

I know that sometimes it’s difficult for family members to know how to treat us diabetic folk. Sometimes they feel like they have to protect us from the dangerously carb-y dressing, or not so healthy fruit salads. The truth is it’s alright to live a little and enjoy myself just like everyone else tries to do during this time of year.

I appreciate the concerned look and whispered, “can she really eat that?” I do. Keep in mind though I have to think about every single thing I consume on a DAILY basis. It doesn’t go away and it isn’t magnified just on holidays. It is something I am constantly thinking about. How this bite and that sip are going to affect my body, my blood glucose, my everything. So when this season rolls around I like to be able to eat and be merry. Just like you.

So, you don’t have to worry about it.

I do it enough. Quit asking if I can eat that and just pass it on over.

I’ll decide if I want to be adventurous or not. :)

Happy Holidays.

To my fellow D friends. What are some holiday “do’s and don’t’s” you’d add to the list?

Lemme know.

Keeping busy.

Thanks to diabetes I have a lot of appointments coming up. All good things though.

I have an appointment next Wednesday with my HCP (Healthcare Professional) to discuss the blood work from today. (Hoping for a spectacular A1c) Then possibly some pump training this week or the following.

Depending on what I feel comfortable with.

Next month on the 18th I have my very first endocrinologist appointment. Yes, you read that correctly. I have never dealt with a real diabetes specialist. Only HCP’s. I’m nervous, excited, but mostly anxious. The OmniPod rep said she’d be alright with showing me how to use my fun new device but I’m thinking it might be beneficial to just wait and discuss a plan of action once I get into the endo’s office. I’ve logged everything from my numbers, to my medication/insulin doses, to my carb counts/ratios..I mean, you name it and I’ve got it written down somewhere.

I’m hoping that my new friend, the endo, will applaud my efforts at diabetes management and not scold me for waiting so long to get in to see her. The issue was either I didn’t have any form of insurance at the time or all the endocrinologists were booked up, not taking any new patients at the time, so I just didn’t bother to pursue it.

I know, I should have.

I made it work though. Yes, there were hospital visits. And, yes, not all my A1c’s were great but I did the best with what I had and that’s all I can really say about that. I know that this will be the very best thing for me, my health, and the big baby I call diabetes that follows me around constantly.

I’m just hoping that everything continues to fall into place.

Smile, there’s always a reason to. :)

We are warriors.

November is Diabetes Awareness Month and all around the DOC people are kicking their advocacy efforts into high gear to spread information and understanding about diabetes.  So it seems perfect to revisit our chat from October 30th entitled “Things people without diabetes should know about people living with diabetes” and ask . . . .

What is one thing you would tell someone that doesn’t have diabetes about living with diabetes?

I think about this particular topic a lot. When I am asked about diabetes, when I am trying to explain the “ins and outs” of this disease, when I hear other people discussing it. It’s very easy to give a quick run down of all the “science” behind it. Or how I have to manage it daily by an insulin pump, or manual daily injections, and by pricking my fingers about a million times a day just to see what my blood sugar is.

But, there is more to it than, “Oh take some insulin before you eat that!” A lot more.

It’s harder to admit the emotional strain this disease puts on you. The way you feel when your blood sugar is running high, like, you are running through sludge and every step weighs you down more and more. Like, you can’t breathe, or think because you feel like you just might puke. All you want to do is sleep and chug water.

Not to mention the wear and tear it does to your body.

It’s harder to admit the defeat you feel when your blood sugars are running low and you have to ask for help. Because you’re in such a fog, such a daze, that sometimes it takes real concentration to remember your own name. Your heart is racing, while your body shakes like you’ve been standing in a freezer, though your body is pouring sweat, and your vision is blurred. You’re ultimately trapped in your own body screaming for these feelings to go away. The feeling of being lost.

Yes, it is simple to check my sugar and give myself insulin. I’m sure almost anyone could handle that part. It’s what is hidden underneath all of that scientific jargon that can really test the soul. Feeling as though you aren’t good enough. The constant pressure to have the perfect numbers, or A1c, the judgmental glances like you would ever choose to be “sickly” for life. The not knowing if everything you are doing to ensure a healthy existence is really going to change anything..

I’d like someone without diabetes to understand that just because you can’t see the “ins and outs” of this disease it’s still there. The sugar checks, the stress, the worry, the insulin injections, the highs, the lows, the complications, the health risks, the fear of going low in the middle of the night and not waking up..ever, for some..the seizures, the pain, the questions, the blood tests, the doctors visits, the waiting, the anger, but also the hope. The dreams, the wishing, the hope for a cure.

This disease brings on just about every emotion you could think of.

I’m only human trying to figure this monster out every single day that I live with it. So, please, put yourself in my shoes and try to understand that just because I make it look’s not always that way.

There’s more to it than this or that.

If I could find a way to convey that perfectly so that everyone understood where I was coming’d be the best day ever. Because, for some, it’ hard to get why this is such a battle and why I see myself as such a warrior.

“This post is my November entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at ‎