Goblins and ghouls galore.

When I was younger, before marriage and kids, before diabetes, before a single care in the world, Halloween was never a very big deal in my house. My mother was very religious and didn’t believe in celebrating anything that even remotely resembled “evil” and we all just sort of accepted that. My father didn’t care much either way.

Instead they would occasionally dress us up, as cowgirls, or ninjas, and take us to the local community church where we engaged in good, wholesome, fun. I’m not complaining. we all had a good time nonetheless. There’d be candy and equally “kid-friendly” costumes. Bobbing for apples and little booths set up where you would play games in hopes of winning prizes.

Think mini carnivals with a Christian theme.

In my home you wouldn’t see carved pumpkins or spooky decorations though. If anything we’d watch horror movies while eating pizza. My dad is a huge horror fan and nothing would keep him away from that aspect. Overall, we just didn’t celebrate it. Not like every one else did. Friends of mine would have their homes turned into haunted mansions. Blood oozed from doors and windows, skeletons hung from staircases and trees. The neighborhood looked like a Steven King film had thrown up everywhere. It was awesome!

When I grew up and decided to have a family I thought maybe I’d follow along with how my parents treated the holiday..like it was just a normal day. However, my husband had different plans. His family enjoyed decorating the house and scaring one another. Pumpkin carving competitions commenced every year with out falter.

And I thought, well, why not? Why not enjoy some of the spooky aspects that this day brings with it? I decided not to deprive my daughter of the memories that every occasion may bring. It’s all make believe anyway, right? That hanging corpse on the wall isn’t real or anything..at least I hope not.

So when Halloween rolls around, like it does every year, we dress up the kiddo. Paint our faces like skulls, or dress up like zombies, and walk around house to house begging for candy like any other red blooded American. :)

We carve pumpkins, even though I despise the mess, and we hang fake spider webs on the windows..because, why not?

I hope you are able to enjoy the festivities. And if you choose not to celebrate, well, that’s alright too.

Happy Halloween.

Jack-o-lantern

Jack-o-lantern (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Fun Fact Friday.

I’m taking a page out of a few other bloggers books and doing a little facts about me post.

Things you may or may not have known about yours truly.

Hope you enjoy.

  1. I’m the youngest of six but I only claim two. (Long story)
  2. I’m a sucker for romantic comedies.
  3. Red is my signature color.
  4. Birds. Giant swarms of birds scare me.
  5. I only ever wear flats. Except when it’s snowing then my husband makes me wear boots.
  6. My hair is naturally curly. I prefer straight hair though.
  7. I’ve never been on a boat.
  8. I used to be a cigarette smoker. Nasty habit.
  9. I’m 5’1. Well, maybe closer 4’11.
  10. I almost never make the bed unless I know people are coming over. It’s just going to get messed up anyway. :)

Oh, the possibilities.

 

There’s a lot going on.

It’s known that I have been MDI (Manual Daily Injections) since forever. I hadn’t known much about insulin pumps when I was first diagnosed, and didn’t care to learn much even years after. It seemed like it would always be out of reach, maybe? Plus, shots took long enough for me to get used to, at the time I couldn’t imagine being attached to something 24/7. Yes, diabetes is always there but not everyone can see it. Another factor in determining whether or not I’d consider an insulin pump was that I didn’t always have insurance and those nifty little devices don’t come cheap.

So I just told myself, “Why fix what isn’t broken?”

If MDI was working for me then that’s what mattered. Then recently I actually got to hold a pump, ask tons of questions, and basically reevaluate how beneficial getting a pump would be for me. It would mean better control of blood sugars, better A1c’s, and overall it would aid in a much healthier lifestyle. My husband and I started filling out paperwork, calling this person and that one, getting in touch with a few company’s and you know what we found out? It IS attainable. I was approved for an Omnipod insulin pump. Why this particular model? Well, that’s a post for another time. The important thing is that a few loose ends need to be tied before I can officially call myself a pumper but the picture is clear and I am almost there.

I never thought I would be in this position. It is the most exciting thing to happen.

This insulin pump wouldn’t just be helpful to my health though it would also ease some of the emotional strains this disease puts on me. Yes, I would have this pod type thing on me constantly, something no one could see, but I wouldn’t have to worry anymore about nasty looks when I pull out a syringe and a vial at a restaurant. Because even though I don’t care what people have to say, that empowerment doesn’t stop the chatter, or criticism. It doesn’t stop my daughter from feeling like she has to protect me from the judgmental eyes. More importantly I would be in control of this disease.

Overall there are a lot of factors making this decision very appealing.

I cried when my husband and I spoke about the possibilities. I have wanted to feel normal for such a long time now and I believe, for me, getting this pump will get me just a little bit closer to that.

Maybe it all seems so silly. Basing so much on this little device but to me it is everything. As of right now there are a lot of things working out in my favor and I’m just hoping it continues to go smoothly. By the end of this year, maybe even sooner than that, I could be on a whole new adventure with diabetes.

Wish me luck in this process.

 

It’s the little things.

Not too long ago I wrote about how I was feeling overwhelmed by life and so in my daughters ultimate wisdom she advised that I stop and smell the roses..so to speak. I agreed with her wholeheartedly. Again I am finding myself wishing I could scrap a few things off my plate though. There’s always a lot going on, things that need to get done, appointments that need to be made for him, and her, and me. It’s already five in the evening here and I still need to finish laundry, make dinner, clean the upstairs a bit..rest, maybe? Get a grocery list together, put said laundry away, clean up after dinner..I mean the list goes on really. In between all of that I need to make sure the little miss is showered and prepared for school tomorrow. Make sure I have checked my blood sugar a few times.

Whew.

Being a stay at home mom has been such an amazing experience but it is not all rainbows and sunshine. It’s stressful sometimes. So just when I find myself wanting to pull my hair out thinking about all that needs to get done this month, next month, and then of course all of Decembers festivities..my daughter intervenes at the perfect moment and decides that I need to forget about everything..

I need to relax and play games with her. :)

Knowing that I need to get so much done tonight ..

I still agree that it is indeed play time.

We played a riveting half hour of this and at the end of it I felt great. Happy. Still slightly stressed because I know that half an hour could have been used for about a million other things but not regretful. I needed that play time and I think she did too. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in all that needs to get done that I forget about how much fun it is to just sit with my daughter and do nothing. Or sit with her and play a board game. By the time I get done with everything for that day, it’s over, she’s gone to bed and I am left wishing I had spent more time with her.

I hate that.

I told her she needs to stop me more often, and daddy too, when she thinks we aren’t giving her enough attention. Because I had the best time laughing with her and playing games. Now don’t get me wrong, we aren’t neglecting her or anything, but it is very easy to get caught up in work, appointments, and other stuff that need to get done.

It’s the little things in life that we need to appreciate more.

I try to take every opportunity I have to play with her and read with her but every once in awhile I need reminding that the laundry will get done, eventually, and that these years with her as a little one will fly by.

It’s dinner time and then after that maybe a movie with my little one. Because, why not?

Don’t forget to smile, there’s always a reason to. :)

Let’s take a walk..

Saturday the 12th was my very first Walk for a Cure with JDRF.

I woke up early that morning with such excitement and nervousness.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. We arrived well before anyone else had for registering and they sort of just moved us along anyway, which was nice. I received a walk shirt, lots of smiles, and breakfast. I loved that they already had the carb counts listed for us. How very thoughtful. The tables were still wet from the mornings dew and slowly people started to trickle in. I didn’t necessarily have a walk team but my mother in law joined me as well as my husbands uncle and his wife.

So I wasn’t alone.

Before the walk officially started there were tents set up with vendors and contributors. Walgreen’s handed out goody bags with water bottles and stress balls, little trinkets for the kids. There were pump representatives discussing the latest this and that. My husband and I walked around asking questions and filling out paperwork. Suddenly getting to hold a pump in my hand and see how it worked in person made the both of us very interested.

After that we watched as runners and walkers warmed up to a zumba workout. I opted not to join in, I was feeling a bit out of place. I hadn’t seen anyone checking their blood sugar, or injecting, or even messing with pump tubing. Nothing.  I thought for awhile I was the only one. What made me feel even more out of place was that everyone kept asking if I was walking for my daughter who was hugging on my hip. “Oh, are you walking for that adorable little thing?” “Oh, no. I’m walking for myself. I’m type one.” They’d look at me weirdly, I felt, and then proceed with whatever it was they were doing. I just kept thinking..Type ones DO grow up, ya know!

I didn’t let that bother me though. The omnipod reps made me feel so much better when they announced that they too were diabetic. Showed me their “equipment” and chatted with me about the benefits of being on a pump. One women had been MDI for years before making the switch. I took a deep breathe after that conversation. Whew. I’m not alone.

Once the walk started that’s when every doubt, every nervous feeling, every awkward moment I had probably created in my own head disappeared. Because that’s when I saw hundreds of people line up and prepare themselves for this walk. Some of them diabetic, I’m sure, and some of them walking for a loved one, a friend, even a stranger, with diabetes. Why, they were even walking for me, they just did’t know it. I was overwhelmed by the turn out. What seemed like such a small amount of people quickly grew into a crowd. Cheering, clapping, raising awareness for me, for you, for everyone who lives with type one diabetes.

It was truly a beautiful thing. Something I hope to be a part of again.

The walk didn’t take long and thankfully my blood sugar played nicely. All around it was a wonderful experience. Thank you so much to all the friends/family that supported and encouraged me. It’s always appreciated.

Here’s a picture from the walk. :)

#Dsma Blog Carnival: Can I trust you?

One of the hot issues in the DOC these days is test strip accuracy.  It’s exciting to see outside agencies beginning to take note.  With that in mind, let’s revisit our September 4th chat “Test Strip Accuracy” and talk about . . .

What would your comment be on meter accuracy at the Diabetes Technology Society meeting?

With the question in mind I’d just like to say that before the test strip accuracy movement I blamed the meters. I figured they were flawed in some way, shape, or form. Nothing is ever 100%. The thought of this little device basically holding my life in it’s little electronic hands frightened me. I wondered constantly, and still do, about what would happen if my glucose meter stopped working or started acting wonky. Of course, I could always buy a new one, right? I’d be facing the same questions either way.

Every time I pull my meter out to use it I wonder if it is giving me the correct information. Just this week I was feeling very off, like high blood sugars off, when I pricked my finger to test, however, the meter read 122. Sounds like a great number but why the symptoms. That made me wonder, could something be wrong with the meter. Not that I am always putting blame on it, I mean I am honest with myself when there’s a high number and I know it was something I did. Every once in a while though I am left questioning all of it. Everything. A lot rides on the fact that these numbers I get off of my glucose meter have to be accurate.

I need to know what needs to be done, if anything at all, when my blood sugar is high, low, normal. I can’t do my job if my own meter is refusing to do it’s job. Or if I just can’t trust it.

I need to know that people in high places, the people working on/creating these tools that I use daily, are making sure the product is always up to par. It is not something to take lightly. Literally my life is in their hands. I can’t always go by symptoms alone. If I can’t rely on my device to help me out..then what will I do. Dramatic as it might seem it is the honest truth.

My comments/questions would address what sort of movement is going to spark with meter accuracy at hand. Not everything is 100% sure, I am the first to admit that, as previously stated, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get pretty damn close. Are companies taking our needs into consideration remembering that we are alive, we are not just the “consumer” not just numbers and data.

Are they seeing us? Hearing us?

And if they are, will they bother to address the situation?

Some days my meter and I are great together, but every once in awhile I’m not sure I can trust it.

That is not the way relationships should work. Let’s work on that trust. Let’s do something about it.

 “This post is my October entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetescaf.org/2013/09/october-dsma-blog-carnival-3/