With type one diabetes I have found that the best way to combat some of the ups and downs is to find others like you. Birds of a feather flock together..something along those lines. I joined quite a few groups online, through Facebook and twitter, that allow me the ability to vent and be as expressive as I want about this annoying disease.
Sometimes I am a quiet lurker while other days you’ll find me rambling away.
In any case..
I came across a question that really stood out and I thought I’d share it here.
It went something like this, “If you could choose one day, a whole 24 hours, to be diabetes free..what day would you choose?”
Seems simple, or maybe it seems way too complex to even comprehend.
For me it’s a little of both. I was diagnosed with type one diabetes at the age of eighteen. Coming into my own and then suddenly feeling very vulnerable. It wasn’t fun. So, for the most part, I remember the days of not giving a damn about anything when I consumed food/drinks. Other then, is this cooked right? Can I have extra ice? These days I feel as though the memories of what used to be are fading rapidly because my days are laid out much different than they ever were before.
I am now getting to a point where diabetes has become a shadow that creeps around every corner. It’s always going to be there, whether I like it or not. So, I reminisce about those non-diabetic days and I think, well, what day would I pick?
Would I go back in time and pick a monumental day? Or would I pick a day that hasn’t happened yet?
My next birthday? A holiday perhaps, I used to love Thanksgiving before the D monster hit..maybe, Christmas? Or a random day on the calendar. I’d lay all the days out and close my eyes, twirl in a circle, and then lay my fingertip on one random day. A day I could just do whatever I wanted and not have a worry in the world.
Then it hit me, I figured it out, it’s fantastic.
If I could actually have this one day to be diabetes free, if for some reason this was even remotely possible..I’d pick my daughters wedding day! It hasn’t happened yet, and it wont for awhile, but oh wouldn’t that be just the best thing ever to happen. Just think about it. The day would truly be all about her. Not if I am alright, if my sugars are acting up, if I need to eat something, take insulin or not..no, none of that would matter. Only her, and making sure that day is perfect.
I tear up thinking about it because I know that this disease has affected her, and will continue to affect her, in more ways then one. When I am down for the count and suffering through a bad high or low, she is there wanting to help, saddened that I am going through this. She hugs me and holds my face and whispers wishes of a cure for me. These moments break my heart and so if I could be free of the shackles for one day it’d be on her special day.
Where everything magical is supposed to happen and you aren’t supposed to worry about moms silly diabetes.
What day would you choose?
Would you pick a day in the future? Maybe go back in time?