Diabetic frustrations.

I apologize now. This will not be my normal cheery, we can do this, kind of post.

Since tightening the diabetic straps and trying so very hard to maintain good, healthy numbers, I have found myself very frustrated.  At least within the last couple of days anyway. Every day I wake up with a positive attitude and I think to myself, “you got this!” Then I get hit in the face with something, diabetic related, and not literally, that totally changes my mood. Recently I wrote about how I have decided to take action with my health and so I began exercising more, keeping my blood sugars in check and actually counting my carbs out so that I would have enough insulin to cover..and..well, it’s worked out nice and dandy until the fifth and the sixth which are documented here in the photo below. This is an app I use on my phone to record and keep track of my blood sugar numbers, units of insulin I take, and carbs I’ve consumed. As you can see, not the best looking graph. Am I right? :/

The (yesterday) is 5/5/13 and the (today) is 5/6/13

The (yesterday) is 5/5/13 and the (today) is 5/6/13

Yesterday I was either chasing the numbers down or trying to get them back up and I think the most frustrating part was that I was doing everything that I would normally do. I didn’t eat out, I exercised, I counted every single, annoying, little carb, I took my insulin and still..still I lost. I didn’t win at all. I mean I wasn’t in range even once! I feel like a complete failure right now. Mostly because for the first time in a very long time I am actually trying to do this. I am caring, a lot, about all of it and I hate seeing my efforts go to the crapper because diabetes decided to be a jerk. I want to blame someone. Something. I don’t want to blame myself..but was it me? I cried when I looked at the graph. It just sucks terribly when you care about something but it doesn’t care back.

This morning wasn’t any better. I checked my sugar before breakfast and it was 177. After that it was 130. I thought I was winning. Lunch time came around and so I checked my number once more so that I could bolus properly and it was 240. Why? I had only had a bowl of cereal that I did a slight correction for and then did my normal bolus. I am hoping this isn’t a trend for the rest of the day but I feel as though the day has been shot.

I want to go back to bed and start all over again.

My husband thinks it is one of two things and I might have to agree with him…

  1. I stopped drinking coffee all together and I wasn’t drinking diet soda either. The last couple of days I have been on a diet coke kick and then my sugars began to jump around. He thinks I might need to nix the diet altogether.
  2. Another reason for the spikes might be that I am trying to find a time to take my long acting insulin. Meaning: I take 20 units twice a day. At 11:30 am and 11:30 pm. This was working out really well. The problem was that it was so annoying if we were out and about before the am shot to either bring it with me or come back to take it. And it was annoying having to set an alarm for 11:30 pm so that I could wake up and take it. The numbers don’t lie though because I started taking them at 9 and 9 and now I am bouncing around. So I am going back to my 11 and 11 o’clock shots and hoping this helps.

positive

If it doesn’t well, I will just try and try again, I am not giving up. There is no turning back around. I have to keep moving forward and figuring out what works best for me. Even if it is grating on my nerves and emotions.

Own it or be owned, right?!

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4 Comments

  1. oh man! This week is a week for crazy sugars for us! I think you might have to explore those two options. You know I love coffee too! Maybe just to eliminate the possibility of it being the coffee, just try to cut down or if you can not have it at all for a few days. When I was injecting I found the two doses of long acting at breakfast and dinner seemed to helped me a lot. Why do you have to do it so late? Have you tried it at a slightly earlier time? eg dinner time? Just wondering! It’s all trial and error, but whatever works for you. I hope they settle down.
    BTW whats the app called?

    • I have stopped with the coffee altogether and have already seen some significant differences in my morning numbers. It’s too bad because I have been a coffee drinker most of my life but sometimes we have to sacrifice for good reasons. Long story short: When I had seen my doctor to get all my medications/times/ratios and all that fun stuff together I had forgotten to take my lantus shot. The appointment was at 11:00 am so I took it right then and there. The doctor stressed the importance of taking the long acting at the same time every single day and spacing them out about 12 hours apart so that is the time/routine that stuck. It usually works out fine but I tried moving my shot times up and I think THAT is what messed me up. Silly diabetes and schedules. This weekend has been great though. Back on my normal times for shots and the numbers have improved. Crazy, right. :/ It is most definitely trial and error. :) The app I use for my android is just called BG Monitor. I found it in the app store. :)

  2. Sorry for bringing this up, but I’m wondering if it might be something X-chromosome related (hope I got that right… I never took anatomy or biology).

    Anyway, there are a million reasons why our BGs go wonky at times. I totally understand the frustration. But consider the fact that you might even be higher if you weren’t so on top of things. That’s success right there.

    • You’re correct on both points. It could be a million things but the fact that I am able to catch it and correct it is great. The fact that I could be a gazillion times higher is most definitely a success. Thank you for putting that out there. I overlooked that just a little. I should count a lot more things as successes sometimes. :)

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