The other day I was cleaning out some “junk” drawers, yes plural, and going through boxes in my closet when I came across some old journals that I had brought with me when I moved away from home. It was quite a blast from the past. Some of these journals are from before high school, during high school, right around the time I was diagnosed, and then when I met my husband. You should have seen my face, with the sneakiest grin, like I had found my sisters diary or something. I ran to my bed all giddy, as if I were going to find some dark, juicy secrets I’d never known about. I mean, the words within these pages were my life, I lived every second of these thoughts. So I don’t even know what I was thinking. :)
Yet there I was, with smiles and tears, sifting through young love, heart breaks, denial, a terrifying diagnosis and the adventures of marriage and motherhood. It was like a novel I couldn’t put down. (Can I just say how oh so cheesy I was when it came to the “romance” in my life. A lot of it made me giggle to reread. Oh the mushiness) All the journals are ripped and completely falling apart, and shoved between wrinkled, torn up pages were envelopes with cards and letters, and of course old pictures of me when I was so childish and naive. I found one picture I’d forgotten about of my mother and I at my high school graduation.
I wont deny that I cried, for a moment, in remembering that day.
(My mother passed away March of 2010) So finding that picture meant everything to me.
Flipping through each and every page, reading each and every entry, I came across something that made my heart melt. My very own “bucket list” (maybe just a random to-do list) filled with some funny things..
Allow me to share my list:
(Keep in mind I wrote this right after turning nineteen..)
- Travel the United States
- Travel the world
- Stand outside in a snow storm
- Kiss in the rain/under a table (I don’t know even know)
- Ride a motorcycle
- Take a trip on a plane
- Take a trip on a train
- Sky dive
- Get a piercing some place other than my ears
- Fall in love
- Get married
- Learn to play at least one song on the guitar
A revised list included:
- Go to college
- Graduate College
- Work in a tattoo shop
- Get a tattoo
- Have children
Items that are in BOLD are things I have done! :)
It pleases me to say that I have completed quite a few things on this list. And I’m left thinking..why stop here? Why not create a new list for this older, more sophisticated me? :) I plan to do a lot in my life. Truthfully I never thought I’d get a single one of these things done. The odds were against me when I was younger. Amazingly I have achieved so much and when I put my mind and my heart into something I wont let anything keep me from it.
Finding this list really validates that I have indeed accomplished quite a lot, at least to the standards of my younger self.
I’m looking forward to compiling a new list and kicking that ones butt too!