Bad Diabetic.

I get labeled a “bad diabetic” a lot.

More so when I was first diagnosed but it still happens more often than not. I get told this by friends, family, and some doctors, because I still try to eat as normal as possible. I still try to be normal. My biggest issue is that I am determined, to a fault, a lot of the time to maintain normalcy, I make sure to take my insulin and check my sugars but I get frustrated with all of it. I envy the people who seem to handle everything without a hitch. When I can I’ll eat a slice of pizza and drink a little soda. I’ve told myself that the thing to remember, in any circumstance, is moderation. In a perfect world I would not consume anything that is considered bad for me and I would have exceptional glucose levels. The sad part is that this is not a perfect world and this disease is far from it as well. I follow the mindset that tomorrow is always a better day and I try not to focus on the negative when it comes to diabetes. The numbers don’t define me and when I’m working at it, and doing everything right, I consider the good times a triumph. I celebrate and then quickly move on. The ups and downs are inevitable so I try to learn from every experience and am sure to apply it to the next day and so on..

I’ve mentioned before that some days I feel like I am on top of the world while other days leave me feeling a bit defeated. I’ve also mentioned the amazing people I have met on twitter. This community has already taught me so much even in this short amount of time that I have been involved. I’ve read through their tweets and blogs and the one thing I can say with sincere honesty is that it is so comforting to know that people, who have been dealing with diabetes for 10, 20 or even 30 plus years, have bad days too. Or off days. They make mistakes, stumble, and then get back up. It makes me feel like I am not such a bad diabetic. I am normal, at least when it comes to being diabetic. :) I love hearing that I am not the only one who does this or that. It’s difficult to swallow the criticism from people who don’t always understand the emotional side of this disease, it’s not just the tedious sugar checks and injections, it is a roller coaster. A whirlwind of emotions and anxiety. Some of the comments can be hurtful and overwhelming. I try, and try, and try and sometimes I feel as though it’s just not good enough.

The truth is, I struggle, and I probably always will but if today I decide not to let diabetes defeat me, then I know I wont let it get me tomorrow either. And that’s how you keep moving forward. And that’s what I plan to do.


8 thoughts on “Bad Diabetic.

  1. “but if today I decide not to let diabetes defeat me, then I know I wont let it get me tomorrow either.” <- perfect saying!!! :) I'm very far from perfect and I try to be as normal as possible too. For a while I let my diabetes slip a lot but I decided to integrate it more.
    Do doctors tell you that there is stuff you shouldn't eat? I'm from germany and we get told (I've recently been to a hospital and it's a rather famous one with a highly dagreed professor) that we can eat anything and everything as long as you regulate your insulin correctly. Though because pizza and stuff is so full of fat it's better to give you the doses in little pieces over a period of time like 4 – 6 hours. And if you like to have a coca cola dose yourself about 30minutes before you drink it. But that's practically everything they tell you about food regulations…
    I'm rather interested in how you handle that stuff in the US, would be great if you could write me a little about that :)

    • That’s very interesting to find out. I hear it more and more that doctors, these days, don’t scold you as much for what you eat, however, when I was first diagnosed my doctors would try to enforce this “better eating, better diabetic” mentality. (And that was only eight years ago) So all this time I had been feeling like I was the worse diabetic in the world because I decided that I didn’t want to be so different and I would eat what I wanted, then I find out I’m not so abnormal in this thinking. Haha. That’s where I struggle, lots of diabetics eat what they want and just take the necessary precautions. I thought I was doing it wrong.

  2. Dude, NOBODY knows how damn hard it is to pretend to be a perfect pancreas unless they are pretending too. Shake ’em off.

    I like to remind myself just how well I’m doing most of the time because we have a terribly hard job.

  3. I love this. Some friends (not the close ones) tend to say this to me and I get beyond annoyed. How do people not understand that carb counting means we can have that slice of pizza if we want it? I’m with you girl, we all struggle but as long as we keep trying our best that’s all that matters :)

    • I’m so glad I am not alone. It makes being diabetic just a little bit easier. :) I can’t say it enough, “yes, I can eat this..” and still I get criticized. It’s very frustrating. You’re right though as long as we know we are doing our best, that is all that matters.

  4. scribblefingers says:

    I can agree with so many of the things in this post! although I’m only really told not to eat “too much” sugar, rather than not at all :) and to try and only drink diet/light sodas, which is pretty easy. Gotta say, I don’t like being told what to do by non-diabetics! (except my mom, who had to pretend to be my pancreas when I was very little and so is my go-to still when anything goes wrong!) “Are you sure you can eat that?” Yes, yes, I am sure. Thank you for your concern. I know a lot of them are just trying to look out for me, but it still winds me up sometimes since they don’t really understand diabetes. Keep at it! And thanks for dropping by on my blog ^^

    • The people that I wouldn’t mind chiming in on my diabetic habits..actually don’t. Because they know I have a handle on things, for the most part. It’s, like you said, the non diabetic people, who don’t even really “get it” that try and scold and THAT is what bothers me. I agree, it all comes from a good place but don’t scold me..encourage me. :)

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