I get labeled a “bad diabetic” a lot.
More so when I was first diagnosed but it still happens more often than not. I get told this by friends, family, and some doctors, because I still try to eat as normal as possible. I still try to be normal. My biggest issue is that I am determined, to a fault, a lot of the time to maintain normalcy, I make sure to take my insulin and check my sugars but I get frustrated with all of it. I envy the people who seem to handle everything without a hitch. When I can I’ll eat a slice of pizza and drink a little soda. I’ve told myself that the thing to remember, in any circumstance, is moderation. In a perfect world I would not consume anything that is considered bad for me and I would have exceptional glucose levels. The sad part is that this is not a perfect world and this disease is far from it as well. I follow the mindset that tomorrow is always a better day and I try not to focus on the negative when it comes to diabetes. The numbers don’t define me and when I’m working at it, and doing everything right, I consider the good times a triumph. I celebrate and then quickly move on. The ups and downs are inevitable so I try to learn from every experience and am sure to apply it to the next day and so on..
I’ve mentioned before that some days I feel like I am on top of the world while other days leave me feeling a bit defeated. I’ve also mentioned the amazing people I have met on twitter. This community has already taught me so much even in this short amount of time that I have been involved. I’ve read through their tweets and blogs and the one thing I can say with sincere honesty is that it is so comforting to know that people, who have been dealing with diabetes for 10, 20 or even 30 plus years, have bad days too. Or off days. They make mistakes, stumble, and then get back up. It makes me feel like I am not such a bad diabetic. I am normal, at least when it comes to being diabetic. :) I love hearing that I am not the only one who does this or that. It’s difficult to swallow the criticism from people who don’t always understand the emotional side of this disease, it’s not just the tedious sugar checks and injections, it is a roller coaster. A whirlwind of emotions and anxiety. Some of the comments can be hurtful and overwhelming. I try, and try, and try and sometimes I feel as though it’s just not good enough.
The truth is, I struggle, and I probably always will but if today I decide not to let diabetes defeat me, then I know I wont let it get me tomorrow either. And that’s how you keep moving forward. And that’s what I plan to do.