Picture Number One: Me in my cute new flats. Stylish, maybe, but so not appropriate whatsoever for nature walks/hikes/or being in the woods. :)
Picture Number Two: One of the smaller trails we took and nearly got lost on. At least I almost did. What you can’t see in this picture is the man made staircase shoved into random parts of this sort of mountain thing. Vicious! I might as well of been rock climbing.
Here’s how these pictures came about…
The other day a trip to the library turned into a full on nature hike with my husband and our little girl. They love to be outside, as do I. Minus all the creepy, crawling things, and wild animals. It was beautiful out, a gentle breeze nipped at our cheeks, there was just enough sun/cloud combination to the keep the temperature cool, and I was feeling great. Until about halfway through this impromptu adventure when I realized I had forgotten my insulin/glucose meter and had absolutely no water to treat an impending high. Then, I was miserable.
My five year old was off and away, running up and down trails, gasping at the quick flowing river. My husband was doing his best to keep up with her and I was ready for a shot, of insulin, that is, and a very long nap. Towards the end I was feeling sluggish, stiff, sore and incredibly thirsty. I could see my daughter getting worried and then a bit annoyed. Apparently my diabetes was cramping her style that day. Usually I am better with these things. I am right there with her chasing the clouds and laughing hysterically at everything, but that was not my day I guess. I got through it, thankfully, and we ended our little hike on a happy note. Afterwards I got myself straight home for some insulin and bed..
It probably didn’t help that for the last few nights, and into the mornings, I have been running very low, which gets me scared, so I over treat. Then I am having to deal with the highs, and with all that up and down junk, I am left feeling like I have been run over by a freight train. Not fun. (Which is what I think might have been the cause during our hike. That morning I was low again so I had eaten breakfast, and then lunch, without thinking about checking my sugar or taking any insulin. We were running around all afternoon, not an excuse to ignore the signs, but it does happen) So this whole thing might have been avoided if I had stopped and taken care of me for a second…
It’s just so annoying..everything about diabetes is..
This reminds me of a nurse who had told me a few years ago about how the lows are way better for you than the highs. When she’d said that nothing about it clicked or made any sort of sense. It still doesn’t..I mean how could one be better than the other, because to me, they both suck. I feel like when I am dealing with a high blood sugar, nothing above the 500’s though, I am clear headed enough to treat the issue. I can still concentrate on what’s going on, I am still able to function, almost, like normal. If anything I am just grumpy as hell and thirsty. I know that in the long run it isn’t healthy to run high a lot of the time but it really can’t be all that great to run low either. For me a low blood sugar is the scariest thing to wake up to. Which is when it normally happens for me. I wake in the middle of the night, heart racing, feeling sweaty and incoherent, I can’t even get myself down the stairs, words are no use and my skin gets real pale and clammy. I don’t know what it feels like to be dying but I imagine this has to be close. Sounds horrible, right?
How can that be better than the high?
So I looked it up and this is what I found: High and Low Blood Sugar
Some of the information is known to a lot of diabetics but if you read through you’ll see that the lows are just as bad as the highs. If not worse. There really is nothing better for your diabetes, and your body, but to stay as level as possible. Which brings me to my conclusion: sometimes you can feel as though you have really gotten this whole “diabetic thing” under control and then a hike in the woods can change all that. I’m joking there. But what I have found, especially since I’ve really started to treat my disease with a bit more seriousness, is that I don’t have control over it. Not at all. I do manage it though. Let me explain, I see managing and having complete control as two different things. I manage all the time, I take what is going on and I do my best. Having control means that nothing is getting past me. I would be level all the time with no snags and this is not my reality whatsoever but I am hoping one day it will be.
I see other diabetics having amazing control and I wonder, how’d they get there?
With a lot of trial and error, I’m sure.