With diabetes I have a very strong love/hate relationship with food. When walking a straight and perfect line I need to be careful with my carbohydrates and what is actually going into my body. I can’t have too much sugar, though I can have some, I can’t have too many starches, and I most definitely can not go with out eating. I will admit to missing some meals through out the day, once in a while, but nothing drastic. The main point is that as a diabetic I really need to be mindful of every single thing I eat and drink.
Now with that being said, I would like to take a moment to complain, just a little, about how frustrating it is that I have to be on such a strict sort of diet. Meanwhile, my husband can not only skip meals, like nothing, and still have the energy to go on, but he can also eat whatever he wants whenever he wants. Ah the life of a “normal” person. I think the most annoying part of it all is that I can still remember being able to do the same. I know what it was like, before being diagnosed at eighteen with type 1 diabetes, to just eat and not care. To be free in a sense. So some days I struggle.
For example: The other day my husband had eaten lunch, then worked nine hours, came home and went straight to bed. Woke up four hours later, didn’t eat, worked like another ten hours, and then came home and pigged the hell out on all kinds of junk food. Um, not healthy but the point is that he still had the energy to get up and go. No snags in his day, nothing. I was so jealous. My sugar levels would have been bouncing off the walls. Before being diagnosed I didn’t have to check anything, or remember to take insulin, I would have just bought a delicious strawberry shake and chugged it. On a hot Summers day I could devour a cherry Slushy and not give it a second thought. These days, obviously, are not like they used to be. My day now, food wise, consists of breakfast so that I can take my morning insulin injection. (If I’m feeling low while out and about I have to have snacks in my bag. Some think it’s for my daughter. I’ll let you think what you want) I usually have to have some sort of lunch to go with my afternoon injection, and then dinner with my evening injection. If I were to take all my insulin shots, without eating, my blood sugar would probably drop and I would be useless. I need to do whatever I can to ensure that my blood sugar levels stay as normal as possible.
Very aggravating especially when observing my husbands eating habits.
I suppose it isn’t just food either. I can remember the very first time I went to an amusement park with my husband, and as we ran around the scalding black top in the middle of Summer he grew frustrated with me needing to stop constantly for water and restroom breaks. This was near the beginning of our relationship where diabetes was still a fresh topic for him. He didn’t understand at the time that everything affected my blood glucose levels and while he might of thought I was being a bit dramatic I could feel my energy being zapped. Earlier that afternoon I had chugged a coke and then immediately began to feel the consequences of that choice when my sugar levels spiked and I was basically a zombie. A thirsty zombie! After awhile he saw that I was not myself and we ended up leaving early. (Another frustrating part of the beetus) I can not just chug any cold beverage during a hot day and be fine. I need water an lots of it. Some days I wish I were “normal” again. (My husband has become way more understanding of what’s going on with me and these days amusement parks and outings are much more enjoyable, but it’s taken some time just for me to realize that I can not “hang with the big boys” anymore) I can not go a day with out being aware of these things.
I don’t let all of this get to me too much.
It is what it is, but I will say that once in while I still live on the wild side. I just can’t give up those cherry slushies. :)